Kelly Stafford may be best known in the public eye as the at-times outspoken wife of Los Angeles Rams quarterback Matthew Stafford, but she’s also a busy mom of four girls (7-year-old twins as well as a 5-year-old and a 4-year-old), and host of the popular podcast The Morning After. Like many moms, she says she’s just trying to keep all the balls in the air.
“I’ve always wanted a big family but I never realized how much work a big family was. The only thing that gets me through is staying ahead of it all, like laying out the kids clothes and packing the lunches the night before,” says Kelly.
She says that after four girls, though, she’s learned to be flexible and give herself grace, so her daughters don’t feel her stress. Says Kelly: “It helps knowing that if none of that happens and it’s chaotic, that’s life.”
The Local Moms Network spoke to Kelly about her family life, including her infertility journey, perspective on youth sports, and more. Plus, what she thinks would surprise people about being an NFL wife.
You’ve publicly shared your infertility journey—what do you wish you knew then that you know now?
I would tell myself to open up about it while I was going through it. People don’t talk about it and feel embarrassed, but when you open up you realize how many people are going through it and it feels a little less lonely.
You also had a 12-hour brain surgery to remove a tumor — what symptoms brought you to the doctor?
I was trying to show my daughters a front roll and I was very disoriented and dizzy. And I told my mom I’m getting old, and she said you’re 29, what are you talking about? After that I would get a bout of vertigo and I put it off, and said I’m fine, I’m fine. As moms we don’t have time for anything to go wrong. You’re making sure everyone else is okay, but if we aren’t good the system isn’t good.
My husband finally said we are going to get you checked. He literally took me to the doctor and we got the MRI and we got the news there was something wrong. I was so lucky that it was benign.
Your husband is a starting quarterback in the NFL and your brother is a coach in the league — what is your philosophy when it comes to youth sports for your girls?
This is a constant conversation between me and Matthew. I was a four sport athlete in high school and he was a three sport one and eventually turned into a single sport athlete. Growing up I loved playing everything – now I feel like If your kid tries everything they’ll be behind because everyone has been one sport since age 6!
But we talk about how sports are incredible for life lessons and building relationships, and for 99 percent of the population they are only going to play through high school. As we are navigating this, we are encouraging our girls to try everything. I want my girls to have the pressure of an individual sport and the team sport experience of succeeding and failing as a team and supporting your teammates.
We want them to find what they love and it might not even be a sport! I also don’t want my kids in one sport and burn out in it, and then think, why did we do this in the first place…
It’s hard because we are very competitive….I see that the girls playing soccer year round are better, and [think] maybe if our girls were the best they might enjoy it more. I’m like maybe we should do that…and Matthew is like “relax”.
It’s become a tough thing to navigate for sure! You always look put together. What’s your “mom uniform”?
I’m a big set person. The Alo sets are great and Amazon has some really awesome sets that are stylish and you throw them on not even thinking twice.
Who would be your dream podcast guest?
I love Kevin Hart — that might surprise people. He can make anyone laugh and he would be my dream…to laugh for an hour on the podcast.
How would Matthew describe you as a mom? And how would you describe him as a dad?
We’re opposites. He would describe me as very matter of fact, to the point, need to get your homework done. He’s a very patient father. When the kids do something wrong he sits down and talks to them about it. He’s also very calm, like he is in the huddle.
What is the one thing that you think fans don’t know about being an NFL wife?
I see us as very normal. The only difference is my husband plays a sport and works hard, and is coming home and studying film instead of going into his office and doing paperwork.
There are positives to being the significant other of someone like Matthew and I’m so grateful for the life it’s supplied us and our children with, but it would be interesting for people to get a glimpse of the ups and down of game days with us. I can barely watch when he’s out there.
Sometimes it’s a tough game and he’s getting pummeled to the ground and that’s really hard, especially with how much older he is now. There are 300 pound men putting his back to the ground. My biggest fear is that the man I married won’t be the same man in 20 years because of these hits – that might surprise people.
Last year after a tough game my oldest daughter looked at Matthew in the car and said “I don’t want you to play football anymore”, and he felt that.
He told her he was okay, but again, that’s the thing that people don’t see. This is their health that is on the line — and that’s more important than anything else when you have a family.